Shazzies Creations

From heart to Art… My world on a page

Tag: heartache

Today’s not the Today I planned

Today I was meant to be sharing joyful news. Today was meant to be a happy moment of telling the world that Bearded Biker and I would be having our first baby together, but sometimes our Todays dont go the way we plan them and life rewrites our Todays with tears.

So Today, I am telling you Lifes version of my Today, we lost our little New beginning.

Reasons why are not available to us at the moment but since it is now my third miscarraige, the Obgyn has decided blood tests to rule out an Autoimmune Diesease are now nessecary. I find myself in a catch 22 – I in no way want to be diagnosed and live with that prognosis but on the other side of the coin, to have an actual reason behind having to have three precious Dreams become Fairy Tales would bring some closure.

We thankfully have an amazing support system around us and are holding onto our Faith that All things work for our good, even in our moments of not knowing the why’s, we hold fast to that. In this new road we find ourselves travelling we will watch for those we may encounter whose lives will enrich ours and whose lives we can enrich. Be it through the comfort of a shared Journey or the support we can give wherever it is needed.

We go through things in life that we cannot always understand or explain. Things that knock us down and tear us apart, through these events though we grow and find strength we didn’t know we possessed. We gain knowledge and wisdom that further down our journey in life we can use, whether it be in our own lives or in the lives of those brought into our story.

 

Found @
https://peacefuldiary.com/products/grow-through-what-you-go-through

Found @ http://www.picturequotes.com/when-something-bad-happens-you-can-either-let-it-define-you-let-it-destroy-you-or-you-can-let-it-strengthen-you-quote-9573

When your ‘Inside out’ is someone else’s ‘Upside down’

walking_alone-copy

http://healthythoughts.in/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/walking_alone-copy.jpg

 

My Intellectual Thunderstorm is battling through a tough week. Bouts of anger, anxiety and utter confusion in his own mind. His need to have a ‘normal’ social life conflicts with his current inability to cope with the emotional and psychological demands that the world outside brings.  Demands the rest of us shrug off as just another daily humdrum are like climbing Mt Kilimanjaro for him, emotionally and physically taxing his system till breakdown point.

Being an adult in this world with the ability to navigate its harsh edges with a bit more understanding is hard enough. I watch him battle, my heart burning in pain for him, knowing that no matter how many times or ways I explain it, he still won’t understand. A sad reality of life, we need to live it to gain the experience it so harshly dishes up. The experience so needed to survive in a time when humanity batters and bruises the souls of those they do not understand with their ignorance. Imagine being a child with the intelligence to know you are different and with the dreams and hopes as big and as vast as anyone else could imagine. Yet on the inside, one who is unable on most days to understand his own mind, never mind the complexities of the rules of a society that refuses to see past that difference.

We need to stop and realize that someone seeing the world differently to you does not make them less acceptable or wrong. How could we possibly see the world the same if we haven’t all lived the same life.

 

 

 

 

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