Shazzies Creations

From heart to Art… My world on a page

Tag: health

Today’s not the Today I planned

Today I was meant to be sharing joyful news. Today was meant to be a happy moment of telling the world that Bearded Biker and I would be having our first baby together, but sometimes our Todays dont go the way we plan them and life rewrites our Todays with tears.

So Today, I am telling you Lifes version of my Today, we lost our little New beginning.

Reasons why are not available to us at the moment but since it is now my third miscarraige, the Obgyn has decided blood tests to rule out an Autoimmune Diesease are now nessecary. I find myself in a catch 22 – I in no way want to be diagnosed and live with that prognosis but on the other side of the coin, to have an actual reason behind having to have three precious Dreams become Fairy Tales would bring some closure.

We thankfully have an amazing support system around us and are holding onto our Faith that All things work for our good, even in our moments of not knowing the why’s, we hold fast to that. In this new road we find ourselves travelling we will watch for those we may encounter whose lives will enrich ours and whose lives we can enrich. Be it through the comfort of a shared Journey or the support we can give wherever it is needed.

We go through things in life that we cannot always understand or explain. Things that knock us down and tear us apart, through these events though we grow and find strength we didn’t know we possessed. We gain knowledge and wisdom that further down our journey in life we can use, whether it be in our own lives or in the lives of those brought into our story.

 

Found @
https://peacefuldiary.com/products/grow-through-what-you-go-through

Found @ http://www.picturequotes.com/when-something-bad-happens-you-can-either-let-it-define-you-let-it-destroy-you-or-you-can-let-it-strengthen-you-quote-9573

So I start….again….

So I have decided to attempt to be healthy and fit again. Funny how we can be so absorbed with a course of action that it becomes a huge part of life, then poof! Life takes a turn and you blink and four years have gone by and you have not exercised and you are a whole dress size bigger……

Believe it or not, four years ago I had the beginnings of six pack definition and Bearded Biker and I were really living the healthy lifestyle. Then our gym closed, life was never the same. We had a quiet gym we attended that was in a small shopping complex. We adored that gym. No queues at the equipment and and no water fountain circuit users. It was just serious gymers who got in, worked hard and got out. We tried other gyms, we just did not gel with all that hype and “traffic” and our motivation waned and we got……lazy!

The kids are rolling their eyes at this healthy living rearing its head again…..no more sugary chocolates and cakes. Its Dark chocolate covered macadamia lemon balls and Low carb, high protein meals. Yes, there is a good amount of healthy fresh veggies and fruit as well. I won the kids over with smoothies and frozen fruit for sorbet….Cannot expect them to grow up with healthy mindsets and bodies if we not prepared to be examples.

I have to say, two weeks in and a few centimeters down, I am really feeling so much better in my skin and mind. I forgot how calming it is to exercise. It gives your mind time to zone out and you just focus on the muscles and the feelings. You feel energized and motivated in more areas of life as well. Must be all the endorphins kicking off.

It does require a lot of changes in how you think, your internal self talk plays a big part in sticking to it through those tough days, where you have just had a rough day and could just chill with a glass of wine in front of the TV. I do however think that mastering the art of pep talking yourself into just doing those crunches, has an impact that will carry itself into other areas of life.

Being able to reason within yourself despite how you feel, is a tool that can serve us well when we slump into those depressive days. Where hiding would be so much easier than fighting to live. Holding on to reason and being able to implement knowledge, can enable us to move through moments that would otherwise debilitate us. Remember, emotions come and go and unless we allow them to, they cannot dictate where we head in life and what we achieve. For some of us it seems to come easy, the ability to move through an emotion, to reason and keep control. For others it is a much harder journey that requires steady support from family and friends. Keep this in mind as you walk through life, be a pillar for those struggling. If you are one that struggles, remember to reach out for support. Life is not meant to be lived alone and there is no shame in what you are dealing with.

Pic found at: https://www.lifestyleupdated.com/motivational-workout-quotes/

Heavens Strings

Time often seems so fleeting that I wonder if I have even taken a breathe let alone seen 4 weeks go by. Yet in these rare and quiet moments I can remember all those little things that have been successes or failures, the lessons as well as the motivators.

I attended a ride out to escort a young boy who was graduating. There were 18 Bikers all together for a cause. This youngster had lost his mom and his dad was trying to make the day a little more special. It was an amazing yet emotional adventure. Riding behind his car I thought of my Intellectual Thunderstorm and how he would not have this graduation event in his life. I felt honored to be able to share this moment, a mom with a son who would not graduate at the graduation of a son who’s mom was unable to be there. 

Yet even though that is the case, I know I am extremely blessed to have him still in my life.  Even though he suffers struggles and fears, I get to see him overcome and succeed.

Over the last few months I have witnessed the heartbreaking struggle of an acquaintance who lost her precious child, only 9 Years old.   Life is full of moments that put our struggles into perspective. Help us see the silver lining s in our storms.

Its those small silver linings that shine the tendrils of light into those dark days, the strings from above that we can grasp onto and hold tight till the sun peers through and our strength is rewarded.

Sun Rays

found at http://imgfave.com/view/3719038?r=pin and jmbrns.tumblr.com

 

 

 

Just a Day

This week I hit a day where ‘Giving Up’ seemed to be my minds mantra. I just ran out of steam and even simple thought processing was a chore. I was the epitome of the ‘hormonal’  woman. Tears seemed to want to leak out at every turn and my doomsday nerve thought it needed to be heard and exercised.  My body and mind were exhausted. I spent the day reading a novel and escaping my own thoughts as best I could.

By the end of the day I battled feelings of failure. As to me, nothing productive had been accomplished. The next morning I awoke as usual, blessed to have opened my eyes to the start of another day, filled with the presence of my loved ones and to the realization that I had not failed the day before. I had succeeded in giving myself and my body what it needed. I day to just be. To breath and to heal from the pressures our daily lives put us through.

I think we too often forget to listen to the signals our own minds and bodies send us. We motor forward at break neck speeds fearing not getting done. When taking a break and looking after ourselves is just as important as that next deadline.

I am glad I did stop for a moment. I am glad I allowed myself that one day of ‘giving up’, of letting go and finding a way to divert my mind. For life is full of mountains and hills. If it weren’t for that one day, I would not have had the strength to see the rest of this week through effectively.

look-after-yourself

Oh No!….Aha!

So almost 5 months since I last sat here typing. Life since then has had so many “oh no!” and “aha” moments.

We have received the final diagnosis of a genetic disorder, we have moved homes, gained new friends and had to walk away from others. Chapters in Life have opened and closed.

Our Intellectual Thunderstorm sadly hit a place through all this where life became too much and he was admitted into an Adolescent In-House counselling program. He has battled through it to come out the other side a wiser and more confident person.  Some moments he so wanted to give up but he persevered through the  grueling months and we are so proud of him.

Its never easy being taken out of your comfort zone and placed into an environment where its all so different. Where you are forced to view yourself through so many mirrors. Sometimes we need to become completely undone in order to find our true selves and heal. We found the specialists involved to be so understanding and compassionate, they truly had all our best at heart. Watching him battle through in this journey was by no means easy, some days I found I wished I could just wave a wand and make it all alright. We all have new eyes towards this life we living. Some paths leave you forever changed.

Today he started a new chapter. Still with all of us behind him supporting him.

Today he went to his first day of work, new and more understanding people surrounding him with new challenges and new beginnings.

Today we stepped into Hope.

 

Life’s Pain and Pleasure

And here we stand, after years of fighting we are finally getting closer to the truth. The hard part…. realizing that the truth may not be all you hoped it would be but knowing it is still necessary to know.

My Intellectual Thunderstorm is causing quite a buzz in the medical circles he is involved in at present.  Myriad’s of tests have been lined up and he will be a documented case for future medical students to learn from. He is caught between feeling anxious and scared and at the same time feeling a little famous; finally his differences are being noticed not by glaring and rude kids trying to get a laugh at his expense but rather by adults with gleaming excitement in their eyes.

I’m not quite sure where I am on the scale of emotions at present.  Years of hoping that the truth would lead to a cure or treatment that would make his life better and easier for once, were shattered with the new knowledge that whichever Disorder this turns out to be, it will be a symptomatic treatment process with possible further future hurdles still to come. At the same time though, I am elated at finally having a team of passionate and heartfelt specialists who are no longer going to allow him to fall through the cracks. I know we need the answers so that no matter what the future holds we will be better prepared for it.

I hope that through our struggles, future children like him will not go so easily dismissed. That those who will learn from his medical reports and history will go out to be better Doctors with an eye for the small things and a heart that will listen to those mothers a little more closely.

We have also through all this realized the lack of educational facilities in our country for children with similar problems, this has led to our decision to start the process towards starting a support group, as well as a school, where teens like my Intellectual Thunderstorm can come to learn in an environment that celebrates their differences and understands their struggles. A small home away from home, where they can find their place in life.

For now though…. we taking a day off…. to celebrate our little Pink Whirlwinds Birthday.

The Little Things

It’s been quite a hectic last couple of weeks. Life has spun by at an alarming rate with Doctors visits, bouts of illness and work drama’s. All typical of life.  After a ‘catch up’ session with a friend the other day I was asked how am I still standing. I realized its not something I have ever thought about. I just get up and do, there isn’t really any other option. So I have been thinking, what is it that helps me to keep moving forward instead of just ‘checking out’ so to say.

While taking a little break from it all the other day (I was painting my very sweet ‘wizard’ elf I got for Mothers Day) my daughter sat beside me and said, ‘I think Bearded Biker is the best man ever mom, he is lovable, caring,  funny and always tells the truth’ A point I know and will always cherish but to hear it from the innocent mouth of a child and to know she feels that way is a pleasure. I have to credit him for always being there to give me a hand on those days when the ‘get up and go’ is a little harder to do. Also, as much as my son is having this struggle and its been a battle for years to find answers, I take comfort in the little steps, we may not be there yet but we are closer than ever before. (Here I need to add that as much as some belittle the government hospitals and care here, there truly are passionate and caring doctors and nurses working in these places, so far the best care and willingness to help and find the answers has been from these precious people.) My daughter is healthy and full of spark and where before life seemed peachy on the outside, it was devoid of true friendship and emotional safety; Now we have a home, not a mansion filled with things but a home, walls and a roof filled with loving people.

So I guess the main aspect for me that works is trying to focus on the little things in life that are right, those small things that we might miss or lose sight of in the efforts to keep our  heads above the water. I find that dwelling on the hurdles in front of us lends itself to us falling down, they seem larger than they really are. Instead aim your sites on the end goal, the finish line if you will. Keeping the hurdles in view but not your main focus allows the mind to see the bigger picture, you can plan better and have more room to breathe. Remember how far you have come and all you have already accomplished, no matter how small the victory, it’s still that…. a Victory. Instead of sitting at night counting all the wrong and downer things that have happened or the things we didn’t get done, list the small steps you made towards the end goal and if you sitting there saying ‘It didn’t work out!’ remember, at least you tried! That’s a step forward too.

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