Shazzies Creations

From heart to Art… My world on a page

Tag: emotional support

Today’s not the Today I planned

Today I was meant to be sharing joyful news. Today was meant to be a happy moment of telling the world that Bearded Biker and I would be having our first baby together, but sometimes our Todays dont go the way we plan them and life rewrites our Todays with tears.

So Today, I am telling you Lifes version of my Today, we lost our little New beginning.

Reasons why are not available to us at the moment but since it is now my third miscarraige, the Obgyn has decided blood tests to rule out an Autoimmune Diesease are now nessecary. I find myself in a catch 22 – I in no way want to be diagnosed and live with that prognosis but on the other side of the coin, to have an actual reason behind having to have three precious Dreams become Fairy Tales would bring some closure.

We thankfully have an amazing support system around us and are holding onto our Faith that All things work for our good, even in our moments of not knowing the why’s, we hold fast to that. In this new road we find ourselves travelling we will watch for those we may encounter whose lives will enrich ours and whose lives we can enrich. Be it through the comfort of a shared Journey or the support we can give wherever it is needed.

We go through things in life that we cannot always understand or explain. Things that knock us down and tear us apart, through these events though we grow and find strength we didn’t know we possessed. We gain knowledge and wisdom that further down our journey in life we can use, whether it be in our own lives or in the lives of those brought into our story.

 

Found @
https://peacefuldiary.com/products/grow-through-what-you-go-through

Found @ http://www.picturequotes.com/when-something-bad-happens-you-can-either-let-it-define-you-let-it-destroy-you-or-you-can-let-it-strengthen-you-quote-9573

Chapters

It is amazing how our lives are filled with chapters, each with its own unique feel, yet all fitting together to complete the book of our life story.

I know, the phrase is not an uncommon one in all circles, from Pinterest posts to poems.

As common as it is though…. it is so true. I am sure those who do not like to read could say that one season has come to an end in the series of their life’s story. However you choose to state it, the fact remains, we all live and experience phases of life that start and end, leaving behind memories and lessons…..sometimes heartaches.

This past two weeks has brought to a close a few of those chapters in my life as well as Bearded Bikers and his family.

For me, I am no longer a Bookkeeper. After many points to consider we decided that the cons outweighed the pros in that line of work in our lives, and we have decided that I will now take the leap, a scary yet exhilarating one, and focus on my art and writing. A new business venture is being plotted and soon we will launch. Crossing fingers, toes and hair strands with loads of prayer and hard work that all will pan out. I will reveal all as soon as its ready for the spotlight.

For Bearded Biker and his family, the chapter closed with tears and sweet goodbyes. They bid farewell to their Ouma/ Avó/Gran. She will be remembered in cherished memories held in their hearts. The kids and I did not know her long but she spoke often of Portugal and the boats on the bay there, we have a few sweet memories to cherish as well. The sweet side of the “goodbye” was the “hello’s” that the family got to say to those who came from far. Moments shared around the fire after, with glasses of wine and stories to tell.

Wherever you are in your life. Be it the beginning, middle or end of a chapter. I trust you remember to take time to make memories, to learn and grow, but most of all……to find the joy in each day.

Heavens Strings

Time often seems so fleeting that I wonder if I have even taken a breathe let alone seen 4 weeks go by. Yet in these rare and quiet moments I can remember all those little things that have been successes or failures, the lessons as well as the motivators.

I attended a ride out to escort a young boy who was graduating. There were 18 Bikers all together for a cause. This youngster had lost his mom and his dad was trying to make the day a little more special. It was an amazing yet emotional adventure. Riding behind his car I thought of my Intellectual Thunderstorm and how he would not have this graduation event in his life. I felt honored to be able to share this moment, a mom with a son who would not graduate at the graduation of a son who’s mom was unable to be there. 

Yet even though that is the case, I know I am extremely blessed to have him still in my life.  Even though he suffers struggles and fears, I get to see him overcome and succeed.

Over the last few months I have witnessed the heartbreaking struggle of an acquaintance who lost her precious child, only 9 Years old.   Life is full of moments that put our struggles into perspective. Help us see the silver lining s in our storms.

Its those small silver linings that shine the tendrils of light into those dark days, the strings from above that we can grasp onto and hold tight till the sun peers through and our strength is rewarded.

Sun Rays

found at http://imgfave.com/view/3719038?r=pin and jmbrns.tumblr.com

 

 

 

Just a Day

This week I hit a day where ‘Giving Up’ seemed to be my minds mantra. I just ran out of steam and even simple thought processing was a chore. I was the epitome of the ‘hormonal’  woman. Tears seemed to want to leak out at every turn and my doomsday nerve thought it needed to be heard and exercised.  My body and mind were exhausted. I spent the day reading a novel and escaping my own thoughts as best I could.

By the end of the day I battled feelings of failure. As to me, nothing productive had been accomplished. The next morning I awoke as usual, blessed to have opened my eyes to the start of another day, filled with the presence of my loved ones and to the realization that I had not failed the day before. I had succeeded in giving myself and my body what it needed. I day to just be. To breath and to heal from the pressures our daily lives put us through.

I think we too often forget to listen to the signals our own minds and bodies send us. We motor forward at break neck speeds fearing not getting done. When taking a break and looking after ourselves is just as important as that next deadline.

I am glad I did stop for a moment. I am glad I allowed myself that one day of ‘giving up’, of letting go and finding a way to divert my mind. For life is full of mountains and hills. If it weren’t for that one day, I would not have had the strength to see the rest of this week through effectively.

look-after-yourself

One foot forward

Some days ‘schooling’ us all is a life lesson in patience and perseverance. I may just land up Virtues one day…..scary thought…

Currently the Intellectual thunderstorm is doing his utmost to avoid his OT homework, he has an indefinite amount of excuses and for every solution there is another excuse. At least we know he is currently using his intellectual abilities, albeit in the wrong direction. He has at least agreed to some slow and steady, a little here and a little there…progress. I know he finds self-reflection hard as it brings up so many emotional soft spots for him.

The pink whirlwind is either exceptionally bored with her work or she may be suffering from a concentration issues. We going to have to look into that. At present she seems to feel the need to ‘fake’ actually getting done, even though she knows it gets checked….never have understood the concept of voluntarily getting yourself into trouble. I would have said she may be looking for attention but we are doing a lot together lately to try stave that possibility off.

I….am feeling Information overload! I am going to have to deal though. I have just four months left to complete this ‘Business Fundamentals’ course. As much as it feels like info overload I am pretty sure it is more the fact that it is not my favorite topic. Although it will be highly beneficial for all the future projects we have lined up, so I will persevere and get done.

We have some great stuff lined up though, we have booked for a charity market stall at the end of October, the Intellectual Thunderstorm is slowly creating some artworks to sell, as am I. It feels really great to get back into my art. Nothing better than smudgy pastel ridden fingers and creativity blooming under your thumb. Will post some pictures of our work soon. The Pink Whirlwind is currently looking for great Dog Treat Recipes (She is testing them on the new member of our family, our rescue pup) so she can sell some nutritious Doggy Treats at the market. Cooking has become her favorite past time of late. I have to say in terms of the ‘Human Food’ she most definitely has a talent. Our lovable Biker Babe is motivating us all on and pitching in where he can.

I have also started a new contract job, brings in enough to cover expenses for now and allows me free time for the brood and for myself…..and….I finally started writing my book, it has taken 3 years to actually start it but I am really proud to say I have.

My favorite  happening at the moment though is our garden. Must be because we were without one for so long. Our peaches have arrived and are growing, the fig tree has woken up and our Mulberry tree is heavy with both fruit and weaver birds nests. The garden is alive with singing and new beginnings. The Pink Whirlwind is in awe every day with the new things she sees. The vegetable seeds have not sprouted yet, so I think I went wrong somewhere there and I definitely did kill those poor rose bushes. Bearded Biker kindly got me some seedlings to plant so my vegetable patch would not look so bare, thankfully those are surviving my beginners hands.

And as much as life gets tough and we have to some days pick our feet up with our hands and get moving, the results will be worth the effort.

One of our little sprouts....

One of our little sprouts….

The Management Mauling

Something that has become a concern to my heart lately is the amount of people I encounter that when they open up, tell me about their issues at work with others who in their roles as leaders are displaying damaging characteristics towards those they are meant to lead.

It led me to ponder on the basics of what makes a good Leader/Manager. Something I have seen I am definitely not the only one pondering about, based on the numerous pictures and posts I see doing the rounds on social media.

The norm now days seems to be to place people in Management / Leadership positions based solely on their educational merits and achievements. This is unfortunately leading to a trend that is showing to be very damaging. I am not saying people with these high IQ abilities in their field are not great candidates for Management positions, however not all are equal in their EQ abilities. The merits of someone with a higher EQ (Emotional Intelligence for those who have not come across the phrase before) have been placed on the back burner by some companies. Now please bear in mind that I am not a Psychologist / Psychiatrist, just an observer and listener that has seen the damage this is doing through my encounters with others.

The problem I feel with basing an applicants suitability for a position in Management solely on their Resume’ and Educational qualifications, without testing their EQ abilities is that we now have individuals, who although they know the job, cannot relate to and encourage the best out of those that they are leading.

It is inevitable that at some point we will all miss the bar on certain projects, we are human and perfection is a myth that no one will ever achieve. We can strive to attain it but we will fail. You can argue this point but let’s be honest, what’s perfection for one is imperfect to another. The problem in an environment where the person “in charge” has a lower EQ is that the immediate response to their “subordinates” failure is to shout, curse and belittle that individuals abilities, sometimes going as far as belittling the individual themselves. Some times even when a job has been done well, the constant shouting is not even soothed over with the odd compliment of a job well done. This leads to damage to self-esteem, depression and oft times breeds an environment where anger and resentment builds. The impact of this is that the person being belittled lands up having no desire to work or do their best, as no matter how hard they try, their efforts go unnoticed.

We can sit and say ‘Oh, people should just learn to deal’, or ‘They should just shrug it off and not take it so personally’. Life is already riddled with stress from every angle. Work deadlines, personal relationships, financial strain and oft times traumas we keep to ourselves. We spend so much of our time at work that juggling everything else in the few precious hours of free time we have makes dealing with the added strain of a work environment that drains you even more, just too much.

Not everyone has the strength in them to deal with personal life issues and then spend 8 to 10 hours a day being emotionally drained at work as well. This does not make them inadequate, just human.

We have become a society that lives on anti-depressants and energy boosting pills and drinks that further drain our emotional and psychological abilities. People suffering from anxiety attacks, burn out and nervous break downs is becoming a norm. It is not a norm I think should exist. We need to start pushing for change not just in our personal lives but in the work place as well. A change towards people respecting others and valuing the contributions that each individual brings. Finding the strengths of each person and placing them in the environments and positions where they will be best suited based not only on their educational skills but their emotional skills as well.

When hiring for Management / Leadership positions, an individuals educational and skill levels should definitely be advantageous to the job required, however, importance should also be placed on their emotional abilities as well. The work force they will lead needs to be constructively criticised when a fault is found, led and taught with respect in the areas where improvement is needed and praised when a job is well done.

We are human beings and thus have emotional needs as well as physical ones. Those needs do not cease to exist when we enter the work place. I truly believe when an individual is given the encouragement and support required to achieve their best, they will be more willing to work and strive for the best. Thus inevitably benefiting the company, as a harder working, motivated and more efficient work force leads to better productivity.

found at thecompellededucator.blogspot.com

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