My Intellectual Thunderstorm is battling through a tough week. Bouts of anger, anxiety and utter confusion in his own mind. His need to have a ‘normal’ social life conflicts with his current inability to cope with the emotional and psychological demands that the world outside brings. Demands the rest of us shrug off as just another daily humdrum are like climbing Mt Kilimanjaro for him, emotionally and physically taxing his system till breakdown point.
Being an adult in this world with the ability to navigate its harsh edges with a bit more understanding is hard enough. I watch him battle, my heart burning in pain for him, knowing that no matter how many times or ways I explain it, he still won’t understand. A sad reality of life, we need to live it to gain the experience it so harshly dishes up. The experience so needed to survive in a time when humanity batters and bruises the souls of those they do not understand with their ignorance. Imagine being a child with the intelligence to know you are different and with the dreams and hopes as big and as vast as anyone else could imagine. Yet on the inside, one who is unable on most days to understand his own mind, never mind the complexities of the rules of a society that refuses to see past that difference.
We need to stop and realize that someone seeing the world differently to you does not make them less acceptable or wrong. How could we possibly see the world the same if we haven’t all lived the same life.
Well its a start. Emails sent, appointments made and docs downloaded. I’m feeling daunted and excited at the same time. Feel like I am walking on a wall, one side is failure and the other success. I am trying to keep my eyes on the success side. Got a response from a prominent person I emailed, can’t decide if it was a good mail or a bad one. On one hand I am absolutely amazed that they responded…and so quickly to boot, took all of 12 hrs, I didn’t even really think I would get a response… so miracle number 1. On the other hand though they didn’t sound too hopeful that this will kick off. They have tried on another side of things and the red tape is apparently miles long and keeps changing.
I am determined though, my heart says its right and my brain is saying failure is not an option. Change is made by those who are crazy enough to try and keep trying. Page one has started so let’s see where this books story goes……
And here we stand, after years of fighting we are finally getting closer to the truth. The hard part…. realizing that the truth may not be all you hoped it would be but knowing it is still necessary to know.
My Intellectual Thunderstorm is causing quite a buzz in the medical circles he is involved in at present. Myriad’s of tests have been lined up and he will be a documented case for future medical students to learn from. He is caught between feeling anxious and scared and at the same time feeling a little famous; finally his differences are being noticed not by glaring and rude kids trying to get a laugh at his expense but rather by adults with gleaming excitement in their eyes.
I’m not quite sure where I am on the scale of emotions at present. Years of hoping that the truth would lead to a cure or treatment that would make his life better and easier for once, were shattered with the new knowledge that whichever Disorder this turns out to be, it will be a symptomatic treatment process with possible further future hurdles still to come. At the same time though, I am elated at finally having a team of passionate and heartfelt specialists who are no longer going to allow him to fall through the cracks. I know we need the answers so that no matter what the future holds we will be better prepared for it.
I hope that through our struggles, future children like him will not go so easily dismissed. That those who will learn from his medical reports and history will go out to be better Doctors with an eye for the small things and a heart that will listen to those mothers a little more closely.
We have also through all this realized the lack of educational facilities in our country for children with similar problems, this has led to our decision to start the process towards starting a support group, as well as a school, where teens like my Intellectual Thunderstorm can come to learn in an environment that celebrates their differences and understands their struggles. A small home away from home, where they can find their place in life.
For now though…. we taking a day off…. to celebrate our little Pink Whirlwinds Birthday.